As I first learned

As I first learned
Foggy night you blind my eyes.
You are a flailing, fleeing ship with no steer.
I am the middle of crashing dark waves that continue to capsize.
I love you deep.
You control me.
Yet I hate you.
No control do I have over your deviance.
How do I escape when you are my sticky flesh?
I cannot burn or cut you away like a gangrenous limb.
No-you follow, you heal, you survive.
How do I beat down this monster?
I beat you, only to have your thanks.
I soar in anger, only to have you laugh in my face with your hot gnarly breath.
How have you taken me over?
My knuckles are bloody from the fight, yet it is always I who is defeated.
Cant I scratch you out?
What is this degradation?
What wormhole did you use to crawl into my brain?
What shame that I cannot loose you without losing myself.
What insanity have you graffitied on my brain?
Once in the knowing, there is no escape. No running from the charred glassy pieces that prick and thorn your mind.
Forsake me again that I might fall into a never-ending tizzy of dismay and loss.
Let me forget as I first learned.
Please I beg you-give me mercy.
Let me forget as I first learned.