Remembering

Through distance and circumstance, you remain my muse.

Wafting scents of amber always readily available upon inhalation; caught somewhere between Rootless Tree and Delicate.

Do not misunderstand; a snapshot of my life would prove contentment.

Still yet, a secret yearning, a deeply buried need exists, refusing to dull, a wanting beyond explanation.

Perhaps fate was cruel.
Maybe if I had finished on my terms.

Wait.

I lie.

I did get what I wanted, didn’t I?

Is it a rewrite I search for in my dreams?

It is one secret moment hidden in time, a private compartment to experience your unrelenting desire at the exact moment I may receive it.

Indeed.

I was robbed of the one thing I needed most desperately.

For you to love me more than you could comprehend while I still had it inside me to give you my love.

We’ve moved on to new stories, where most days suppressing is unconscious.
Other days, I can barely breathe as the wave of reminders crash into my clean and beautiful life.

I love you. I hate you. I love you.